I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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