so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
