Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize