I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize