last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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