just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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