did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
