Fuck appropriateness.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
