im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
