You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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