Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
