It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
