this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
