have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
