We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
