I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
