Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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