Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
