i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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