just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize