theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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