Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
