Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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