somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think people are normalizing furries
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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