Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
