Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
