I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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