My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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