LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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