i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
