How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
