her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
