Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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