sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
