she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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