i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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