Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I want is dick and wine.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
