thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dignity is for republicans.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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