I love black thongs
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
