The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
