There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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