We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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