We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
