come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
