I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
