I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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