drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
