Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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