He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
