so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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