in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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