After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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