I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
