in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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