Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
