they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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