Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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