found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
