I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
