Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize