Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i believe in u and ur pee
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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