And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
