dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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