She's JV to your varsity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
