I love black thongs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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