that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i barfeds in our rink
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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