problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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